Remarkable thoughts I
(Víctor Lemes)
I'll let him speak. My other self. He usually speaks to me while I'm walking home late at night. You see, I have many other selfs within this moving corpse. We dialog pretty often, specially at night, when all the other people are sleeping... We often speak about many things, a variety of subjects I know I can't speak with somebody else. Stuff like random stuff. Things that pop in my head while I'm speaking to her, for example. I'll say "her" because I don't want to compromise my relationship with her. The reasons are many: 1. I don't want to fall in love with her; 2. I don't want to assume I've already fallen for her; 3. I'm scared of new relationships; 4. I'm scared I might fail again. These are the top 5 reasons I, from now on, shall call her as "her". Well, yes, I've mentioned only 4 out of those 5 reasons. Well, that's me talking, his other self. The fifth reason is something he wants to keep it hidden. He says he likes to be mysterious. Who knows whether this is the truth or is it cowardice of his, anyway? One of the things we discussed the other day was the present-day issue of asking someone out on a date. Why is it always implied that it is the boy or the man who has to ask the person out first? Why is it not valid to think, for once, that the girl or the woman could ask me out on a date? I wouldn't think this to be weird! Why would I? I would feel flattered, haha. For this kind of thoughts we believe that he's still on the search, for there are no people or just few of them who would dare asking these kinda questions, you know? It's weird how his mind is troublesome all the time. THAT is weird, I can tell. It's just so full of questions and doubts, because he knows how different they are from each other. Perhaps this whole paragraph that I've been talking has been a helluvah-waste of your time. I blame the heat. It's baking hot inside this bedroom of his. He knows how to act very well. He knows how to hide his true thoughts about somebody else. He believes he creates different realities while he imagines different scenarios for his own life. Thanks to him, I'm speaking to you. He says, "sometimes I think all I can do is create these scenarios, so they can happen to me one day". Most of them have already happened as he 'predicted'. But there's one yet to happen. He expects it very eagerly. I do, too. I've been of some use for him when he was in his teens. I've been his escape for several years, and now I'm his only friend whom he talk to, without the fear of judgement. I listen to him, and argue as well. Sometimes, we have totally opposite opinions of one matter. Oh, look! It's past midnight and he has to sleep. "The time always comes to say good-bye."
I'll let him speak. My other self. He usually speaks to me while I'm walking home late at night. You see, I have many other selfs within this moving corpse. We dialog pretty often, specially at night, when all the other people are sleeping... We often speak about many things, a variety of subjects I know I can't speak with somebody else. Stuff like random stuff. Things that pop in my head while I'm speaking to her, for example. I'll say "her" because I don't want to compromise my relationship with her. The reasons are many: 1. I don't want to fall in love with her; 2. I don't want to assume I've already fallen for her; 3. I'm scared of new relationships; 4. I'm scared I might fail again. These are the top 5 reasons I, from now on, shall call her as "her". Well, yes, I've mentioned only 4 out of those 5 reasons. Well, that's me talking, his other self. The fifth reason is something he wants to keep it hidden. He says he likes to be mysterious. Who knows whether this is the truth or is it cowardice of his, anyway? One of the things we discussed the other day was the present-day issue of asking someone out on a date. Why is it always implied that it is the boy or the man who has to ask the person out first? Why is it not valid to think, for once, that the girl or the woman could ask me out on a date? I wouldn't think this to be weird! Why would I? I would feel flattered, haha. For this kind of thoughts we believe that he's still on the search, for there are no people or just few of them who would dare asking these kinda questions, you know? It's weird how his mind is troublesome all the time. THAT is weird, I can tell. It's just so full of questions and doubts, because he knows how different they are from each other. Perhaps this whole paragraph that I've been talking has been a helluvah-waste of your time. I blame the heat. It's baking hot inside this bedroom of his. He knows how to act very well. He knows how to hide his true thoughts about somebody else. He believes he creates different realities while he imagines different scenarios for his own life. Thanks to him, I'm speaking to you. He says, "sometimes I think all I can do is create these scenarios, so they can happen to me one day". Most of them have already happened as he 'predicted'. But there's one yet to happen. He expects it very eagerly. I do, too. I've been of some use for him when he was in his teens. I've been his escape for several years, and now I'm his only friend whom he talk to, without the fear of judgement. I listen to him, and argue as well. Sometimes, we have totally opposite opinions of one matter. Oh, look! It's past midnight and he has to sleep. "The time always comes to say good-bye."
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